George Carlin Quotes About Alcohol

We have collected for you the TOP of George Carlin's best quotes about Alcohol! Here are collected all the quotes about Alcohol starting from the birthday of the Comedian – May 12, 1937! We hope you will be inspired to new achievements with our constantly updated collection of quotes. At the moment, this page contains 5 sayings of George Carlin about Alcohol. We will be happy if you share our collection of quotes with your friends on social networks!
  • I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'

  • My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.

  • I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."; "Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one."; "If you drink long enough, at some point you will vomit up the lining of your stomach."; "Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman."

    George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.657, Hachette UK
  • Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.

    George Carlin (2015). “3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, p.310, Hachette UK
  • I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

    George Carlin (2004). “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?”, Hyperion
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