Bob Hope Quotes About Funny
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My folks were English . . . we were too poor to be British.
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one.
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.
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It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost.
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent.
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns.
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Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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Rock and roll is catching on all over . . . France . . . England . . . They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!
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I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?
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I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell.
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
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