Ambrose Bierce Quotes About Religion
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INADMISSIBLE- Not competent to be considered. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible ... but there is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence.
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JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.
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Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.
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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.
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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
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ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
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Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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THEOSOPHY, n. An ancient faith having all the certitude of religion and all the mystery of science.
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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.
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