Jimmy Carr Quotes About Comedy
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I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
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I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said 'It's nice to see so many bums on seats.'
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My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.
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I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.
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Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.
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More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.
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No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.
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The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
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A big girl once came up to me after a show and said "I think you're fatist." I said "No, no. I think you're fattest."
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Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
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See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol
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My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
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My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."
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When someone close to you dies, move seats.
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As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.
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People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?
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