Leslie Nielsen Quotes
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I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.
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I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
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I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.
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The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.
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Sometimes integrity is a punch in the face.
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The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.
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I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin.
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Today, in my career, I'm doing what I love to do. And that is, do things for the fun - do comedy. It's a pleasure to go for the laughter.
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Do your part to silence gossip - don't repeat it.
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The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.
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I had always functioned with dignity, wanting to appear intelligent, macho, never vulnerable or insecure. But now I realize that... a part of these comic characters is a fundamental part of me too.
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Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!
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It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do.
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Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.
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Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job.
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When you see Charlie Chaplin, he stays funny. He doesn't become drama, and so what really seems to endure is comedy.
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Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.
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Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.
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I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent.
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One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up.
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Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.
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Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.
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I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants?
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Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.
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You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.
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The reason they call if 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.
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It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!
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Any sport that comes from Scotland is good!
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It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places.
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I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.
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