Funny Simpsons Quotes
The best sayings about Funny Simpsons that you can share on Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook and other social networks!
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I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.
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It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame.
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Art is what separates us from the animals.
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I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
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Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow
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I was working on a flat tax proposal and accidentally proved there was no God.
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You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
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If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
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I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
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English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
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If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way.
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I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
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Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
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Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
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But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
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Romance is dead - it was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
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I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
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Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
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I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
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Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
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When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!
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Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
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Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
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It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.
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Operator! Give me the number for 911!
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If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.
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Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.
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The strong must protect the sweet.
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