W. Somerset Maugham Quotes About Funny
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The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried [phrase-making] to such a height of perfection and have invented so wide a range of pithy and hackneyed phrases that they can carry on an amusing and animated conversation without giving a moment’s reflection to what they are saying and so leave their minds free to consider the more important matters of big business and fornication.
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Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.
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The mathematician who after seeing Phedre asked: 'Qu'est que ca prouve?' was not such a fool as he has been generally made out. No one has ever been able to explain why the Doric temple of Paestum is more beautiful than a glass of cold beer except by bringing in considerations that have nothing to do with beauty.
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A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.
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I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.
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I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.
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I would sooner read a timetable or a catalog than nothing at all.
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Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.
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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
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The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.
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I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.
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Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.
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When she liked anyone it was quite natural for her to go to bed with him. She never thought twice about it. It was not vice; it wasn't lasciviousness; it was her nature. She gave herself as naturally as the sun gives heat or the flowers their perfume. It was a pleasure to her and she liked to give pleasure to others.
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It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
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