Sam Ewing Quotes
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Nothing in the world can replace the modern swimsuit, and it practically has.
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If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
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Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
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"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet now?" "That's because your feet aren't empty," said the doctor.
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Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
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Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.
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Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a tenant longer to get out than a burglar to get in.
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
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As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
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Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.
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Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
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It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
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The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
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Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory.
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Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
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A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.
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A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in.
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Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
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Two things help to keep one's job. First, let the boss think he's having his own way. Second, let him have it.
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When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.
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I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross.
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
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Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.
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An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
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On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
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The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
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Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
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Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them.
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Related Authors
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Ray Torres Baseball player