Graham Chapman Quotes
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I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
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McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
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My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
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You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.
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I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
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Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!
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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
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Oh, you're in television! That's interesting. No, I mean, the word television is interesting. It's a hybrid, you see: tele- comes from the greek, and -vision comes from the latin. It should have been either "telerama", or "procolvision".
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Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
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WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?
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Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy!
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We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
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Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
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When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
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In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
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A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.
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Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
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John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
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All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.
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You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
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There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none. And when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than I personally admit.
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We found that we didn't have much problem with him [J.C.], it was his followers we found questionable.
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When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
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Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
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One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
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We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
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Always look on the bright side of life.
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Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
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I fart in your general direction.
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