Gracie Allen Quotes
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Let's all pull together and make these United States the grandest place in this whole country. I see a vision. A glorious vision. A united people, marching forward shoulder to shoulder, giving their all for the common good, working while I whistle.
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Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.
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A friend asked her doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five. I said, "Thirty-five children is enough for any woman.
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This country needs room to grow and expand. In all my own newspapers I read frightful tales of the shameful atrocities being perpetrated on our Democratic minorities in Maine and Vermont. My patience is almost at an end, and if provoked much further I will place both countries under American protection, even if I have to send in my tourists to start trouble so I'll have to send in a force to restore order.
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This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.
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All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
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A young boy shouldn't be given up for hopeless just because he's lazy, surly, and good for nothing. Don't be discouraged by those things - maybe he's just trying to be like his daddy.
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When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
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I fully realize that every promise I make, the Republicans will double and the Democrats will redouble. They think this will make me vulnerable, but they don't know I have some tricks up my sleeve, along with a box of raisins to munch on while I'm waiting for the returns to come in.
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They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
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I often put boiling water in the freezer. Then whenever I need boiling water,I simply defrost it.
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You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?
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When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
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This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
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I'm the candidate who forgot to take off her hat before she threw it in the ring.
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Never place a period where God has placed a comma.
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The Senate is the only show in the world where the cash customers have to sit in the balcony.
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Some people are amazed at my brain, but really it's nothing.
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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
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Every man is born with the ability to do something well. This is what the Lord intended him to do. Using that ability - what life is all about.
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Every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
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Try to understand me. Nothing is impossible.
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You've buttered your bread, now sleep in it.
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My husband will never chase another woman. He's too fine, too decent, too old.
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I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.
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Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
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It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.
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Cultivate friendships. If you don't have time to cultivate all of them, plow under every fifth one and collect your bonus.
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I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.
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I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.
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