Christopher Moore Quotes
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Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal
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The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens."I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting." Him." Pardon?" It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.
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People always stay the age that they died at. My big brother died of leukemia when I was six. He was eight. Now when I think of him, he's always eight, and he's still my big brother. He never changes, and the part of me that remembers him never changes.
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Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?
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If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
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Life is an irritation.
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The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.
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Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory
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No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.
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Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
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The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
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Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.
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Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.
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When I teach seminars, I tell people, Your stuff has to look like something thats out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.
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After all the evidence is in--after you've run all the facts by everything you know--and you're still lost, you have to do some things on faith.
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It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
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What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.
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Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
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If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
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Don't bruise the Foo!
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I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
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Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
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Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.
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We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" Does a fish have a watertight asshole?" said Coyote.
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They were told what they wanted and they believed it. They can only keep their dream alive by being with others like themselves who will mirror their illusions.
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It was watching Madeline Alby eat cheese with every ounce of her being, like it was the first and best time, that made him realize that he had never really tasted cheese, or crackers, or life. And he didn't want his daughter to live that way. He'd moved her into her own room the night before...He hadn't slept well, and had gotten up five times during the night to check on her, only to find her sleeping peacefully, but he could lose a little sleep if Sophie could go through life without his fears and limitations. He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
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She laughed. My favorite music.
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Pondering is a little like considering and a little like thinking, but looser. To ponder, one must let the facts roll around the rim of the mind's roulette wheel, coming to settle in whichever slot they feed pulled to.
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Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby
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