Chelsea Handler Quotes About Chelsea

• There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

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  Chelsea Handler

  Party   Drinking   Two  

  Chelsea Handler (2005). “My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands”, p.84, Bloomsbury Publishing USA

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• Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

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  Chelsea Handler

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• Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.

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  Chelsea Handler

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• Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.

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  Chelsea Handler

  "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea". Book by Chelsea Handler, 2008.

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• Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.

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  Chelsea Handler

  Chelsea Handler (2009). “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”, p.89, Simon and Schuster

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• You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

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  Chelsea Handler

  Chelsea Handler (2009). “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”, p.141, Simon and Schuster

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