Bruce Lansky Quotes
-
On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
→ -
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
→ -
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
→ -
You always nag the one you love
→ -
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
→ -
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
→ -
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
→ -
When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
→ -
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
→ -
I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
→ -
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
→ -
My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
→ -
We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
→ -
The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
→ -
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
→ -
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.
→
Related Authors
-
J. Patrick Lewis Poet -
Judith Viorst Author -
Vicki Lansky Author -
Haim Ginott Psychologist -
Cynthia Rylant Author -
Jack Prelutsky Writer -
Dr. Seuss Writer -
Eve Merriam Poet -
Shel Silverstein Poet -
Arnold Lobel Author
Popular Topics
- Patterns
- Financial Regulation
- Creation Stories
- Family Holiday
- Compact
- Office Desk
- Inspirational Adventure Time
- Powerful Love
- Inner Happiness
- Destiny And Choice
- Natural Childbirth
- Orange County
- American Red Cross
- Don't Trust People
- Jellyfish
- Learning And Growing
- Wintertime
- Children And Parents
- Romantic Friendship
- Horse Riding