Bill Maher Quotes About Funny
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Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it."
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The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.
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There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.
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A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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