Terry Pratchett Quotes About Funny
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The world is a globe — the farther you sail, the closer to home you are.
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-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.
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If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
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I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.
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The only thing more dangerous then a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom window open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency.
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They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
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If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you.
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Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.
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Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
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'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'
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Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.
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...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.
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The most prudent thing any intelligent animal can do, if it would prefer its descendents not to spend a lot of time on a slab with electrodes clamped to their brains or sticking mines on the bottom of ships, or being patronised by zoologists, is to make bloody certain humans don't find out about it.
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The Kappamaki, a whaling research ship, was currently researching the question: How many whales can you catch in one week?
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The second mouse gets the cheese!
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Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
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She was a beefy young woman and, whatever piece of music she was playing, it was definitely losing.
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It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
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There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.
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