Milton Berle Quotes About Funny
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A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
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We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
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My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
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They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
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Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
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A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"
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I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
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The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
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My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?
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