Jeremy Hardy Quotes
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It seems a shallow observation, but... the Tory Conference are not an attractive lot, are they? I mean, if all those people were born in the same village, you'd blame pollution, wouldn't you?
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The only way you can ever accuse a Conservative of hypocrisy is if they walk past a homeless person without kicking him in the face.
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You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother's father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.
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My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her You're eleven, make your own!
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Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.
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All socialists have bad backs because we slouch - except when we're watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.
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Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn't work.
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Northern Ireland is part of Ireland, not Britain, as can clearly be seen from aerial photographs.
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The need to compile lists is a personality disorder, as is the need to assert the superiority of some things over other things.
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If you just took everyone in the BNP and everyone who votes for them and shot them in the back of the head, there would be a brighter future for us all.
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Most harm is done by people who are awake.
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The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child's party where you realise you've forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.
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Why don't people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it's not going to last for ever.
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