Dave Barry Quotes About Inspirational
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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
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No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
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To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
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A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
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A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
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When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!
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Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
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