Will Rogers Quotes About Funny
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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
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When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, they raised the average intelligence level in both states.
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You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.
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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
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If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics.
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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
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Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
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With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
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Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.
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I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
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I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
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Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
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You've got to be (an) optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one
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There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.
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There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.
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Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
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It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
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My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.
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Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
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An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.
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There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
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The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
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The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
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